Most Nights I sit and wonder
And I try to understand
Why I’m not good enough for always and a day.
And though I know there’s no forever
I want someone to take my hand
Look in my eyes as though they see me, say they’ll stay.
I don’t want a fairytale
And don’t need gifts that money buys
All that I crave is fun and laughter and respect
And for a mate that is as strong
And just as brave as he is wise
Understands that giving all is so to get.
And yet I live in darkest shadow
Where the naked eye can’t see
And in places where nobody hears a sound
All alone I sit in silence
And I fall unto my knees
A pool of tears grows ever deeper on the ground.
In those such moments when my mind
Has only doubts and fills with pain
And my reflection in the mirror hates itself
I battle hard to find a reason
Why this earth I should not stain
With my red blood and end this sorrow for myself.
From somewhere deep and almost desperate
My soul reaches out and cries
Throws a flare into the darkness and alights
A tiny flicker of a flame
Inside my heart before it dies
And so my passion for a contest yet ignites.
Can I do this once again?
Convince myself that I am worth
Something to someone for it always ends this way
That I am left lone to wonder
Why I was put here on this earth
To be the sometimes girl, and always cast away.