She Remembers

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She remembers the first time they touched
like it was yesterday
Closing her eyes she feels his touch like he is there.

She recalls the way he smelt, the way he felt
beneath her hands
And how he gently kissed her lips and pulled her hair

She remembers how they squeezed each other firm
against their skin
As though to touch each others flesh was not enough

And how they pulled and pushed and moved
just like a naked dancing flame
Sometimes slowly, sometimes softly, sometimes rough

She remembers how they lay together spent
in an embrace
And how there wasn’t always need for wasted word

How they were peaceful in the silence and the comfort
of another
Their beating hearts, each others breath was all they heard

She remembers how her heart began to yearn
for something more
Than just an overnight encounter now and then

She remembers how she wrestled with her conscience
with her soul
And the damage that was done by other men

She remembers how she bared her soul, hear heart
upon her sleeve
And how he offered up no feelings in return

And how embarrassed she became of how she felt
and how it seemed
She was an option and for her he did not yearn

She remembers there were moments when he looked
into her eyes
And she thought that she saw love but wasn’t sure

Because he kissed her like a lover kisses
passionate and deep
But there were times when he just fucked her like a whore

She remembers it was hard to walk away
but she was strong
And so it came the day she finally said no

And he accepted her response with grace
just like a proper man
And how inadequate she felt that this was so

She recalls how much it hurt he wasn’t sad
that she was gone
And how so quickly he moved on to someone new

And how it took her for too long to see another
in his shadow
And when she finally did, somehow he knew

She remembers how he changed when he first realised
his heart
Was unto her but hadn’t wanted to admit

And how he told her In a desperate voice he cared
about her now
And wondered if she could forgive him all of it

She remembers how she cried and all the pain that
flooded back
But that committed to another she was now

And how she wanted to embrace him, hold his face
caress his mouth
And all of him from his big feet up to his brow

She remembers how his face suddenly hardened
and contorted
And how the desperation turned his eyes to black

And how she watched his body spasm in his anger
at himself
And then he focused it on her- no turning back

She remembers how he clenched his jaw, his body
arched his back
And watched his hands curl into fists just like a stone

And thoughts of all hope faded as he grabbed her
by the throat
And raised his arm up, struck her face right to the bone

She remembers feeling sad and watched the tears
fall down his face
As uncontrollably he struck her once again

And as he hit he cried and hit again the blood
began to stream
Down from her face he knew there was no stopping then

She remembers when he finally grew weak
fell to his knees
Then he lay down and held her softly from beside

And there was sadness in his voice as he whispered
in her ear
That he was sorry they were here for love denied

She remembers how her voice could not escape
her shattered mouth
And could do nothing as he drew his hidden knife

And drove it straight into his heart right through his chest
and gasped aloud
And then he said I love you as he took his life

She remembers how it took almost a miracle
to move
But somehow found the strength to take hold of his blade

And her last thoughts were if she couldn’t be with him
she’d rather die
And slashed her wrists and so in death with him she stayed.

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